Most of us have a tendency to believe that what we think, say, and do is a very personal matter, and is nobody else’s business.  I agree that we are responsible for our own choices.  This is true.  However, what we may not have considered is the indirect manner in which our existence affects others, both physically and emotionally.

For example, when you and I find ourselves in a room together, we breathe the same air.  As I exhale, atoms and molecules that used to be a part of my physiology are released into the atmosphere as carbon-dioxide, plus other gases, including water.  The carbon in carbon-dioxide is considered the backbone of organic, living matter.  As such, it may have once existed in my liver, my heart, my blood, etc. 

When you inhale, some of the molecules I exhale are brought into your body and are absorbed into your bloodstream.  Depending upon your body’s needs, these molecules may be used to construct organic matter that becomes a part of your liver, your heart, your blood, etc.

In essence, whenever we spend any time together, part of what used to be me can become a physical part of what makes you you.  And vice-versa.  Therefore, while you are ultimately responsible for taking care of yourself, keep in mind that when you do, you are also taking care of a part of me.  So, take good care of me, will you?  In return, I pledge to take care of you by taking care of me.

In another example, it is easy to see how our relationship affects the relationships of everyone else.  If we were to have an argument, causing us to become angry with each other, it cannot be said that it is a matter that only exists between you and I.  As I become irritated, it not only affects our relationship, but it also affects the way I relate to my family, my friends, my co-workers, etc.  Conversely, if the argument that I have with you creates unease in you, it will also affect the relationships that you have with your family, your friends, your co-workers, etc. 

The web of interpersonal relationships intertwines us all.  A recent study on happiness in social networks, published by the British Medical Journal, supports this viewpoint: when friends, spouses, siblings or neighbors are happy, the probability that you will also be happy increases significantly (BMJ 2008; 337:a2338) So, next time you say to yourself that what you think, say or do is minor, inconsequential, and only affects your own future, think again.  What you say, think and do affects us all. 

If you are the kind of person who would like to make the world a better place, the message is simple: take good care of yourself, and be conscious about how you relate to those who are closest to you – for as you do, in a very significant way, you are also taking care of everyone else.

Yours Truly,

Dr. Christian Guenette

The Common Sense Coach^TM