This is a guest post by Ted Kuntz      

In the Fall 2007, my family and I stepped into an exotic adventure. We made the decision to climb Mount Kilimanjaro in Tanzania, Africa. Mount Kilimanjaro is the seventh highest peak with an elevation of more than 19,000 ft. 

In more ways than anticipated the climb was the journey of a lifetime. Success on the journey required stamina, persistence, intention, and acceptance. Through the first two days of the climb all I could do was keep my head down and my eyes focused on the heals in front of me due to the dizzying effects of altitude sickness. By day three I had acclimatized to the diminished oxygen to enjoy the views that unfolded before me.

After five days of climbing we reached the camp at the base of the summit. The plan was to begin our ascent at midnight with the goal to peak by 8:00 am. The climb began in darkness. Our only illumination was a solitary headlamp and the stars that enveloped us. The temperature hovered around – 20 Celsius. Because of the steepness of the slope we needed to traverse sideways across the mountain face. And with half the oxygen available at sea level our lungs and muscles strained with every step. To compound the challenge, the slope was covered in loose shale. Every step upward was partially negated by the downward slide of the shale. The pace was painfully slow and difficult.

Upward we carried ourselves paced by the mantra “slowly, slowly”. About two hours short of the crater’s rim I was unable to continue. The cold, altitude sickness, and physical exhaustion had taken their toll. The dream to summit Kilimanjaro was beyond my capacity. After five days of climbing it was necessary to turn around and descend.

It would be easy to interpret this experience as defeat, to see my inability to summit as failure. And yet, I felt a huge sense of relief. I had participated in a very powerful experience that invited me to be physically active and intensely present. I had shared precious moments with my wife and two of my children. I had joined with strangers in a powerful sense of community that comes from facing adversity together. And I discovered an important lesson for myself.

As I stood on the steep slope, fatigued to exhaustion, chilled beyond belief, overcome with nausea and dizziness, I came to an important conclusion – I had suffered enough. This realization has served me far beyond the slopes of Kilimanjaro. Through this experience of intense physical suffering I came to realize how suffering has been a constant companion in my life. How I have accepted suffering as a fact of life, even embraced suffering as noble. But now I was done with suffering.

This experience assisted me in recognizing how much of my suffering is self created. I now recognize that I have made decisions, held onto beliefs, and maintained courses of action regardless of the suffering I experienced. I did this because of a belief that suffering was necessary. During that morning on the side of Mount Kilimanjaro something changed in my psyche. I released the need to suffer.

Now, when I experience suffering I pause and examine my suffering. Is this suffering associated with my resistance of reality? It my suffering the result of having judgment of what is?  Am I suffering as a result of telling myself negative stories about what might happen in my future? Is my suffering a consequence of maintaining a course that no longer serves me? I recall my epiphany from Kilimanjaro and I choose not to suffer. I release the thoughts, actions, and beliefs that hold the suffering to me. I choose to end the suffering. I choose another path.

This doesn’t mean that I step away from any course of action that is challenging. What it means it that, whatever path I choose, I no longer need to walk in suffering. I can walk that path with ease and grace, with peace and joy, regardless of the challenge. And, I will be open to the possibility that the challenge is an indication that I may be pursing the wrong path and need to choose again.

My commitment is to live peacefully and joyfully, regardless of the path I am on. This is possible when I know that suffering is optional.

Choose What Does the Most Good

This next tool makes use of the power of choice. Each of us has the capacity for choice. We can choose not only our behaviours, but also our thoughts and in doing so determine our experiences.

I observe most people fail to fully embrace the power of choice. They behave as though they have no choice. I described earlier how listening to our politicians, CEOs, and other leaders telling us they have no choice has convinced many of us that we too have no option and are powerless. Another common belief is that someone else is responsible for my life. For example, it’s common for people to think that others are responsible for their happiness and sadness. I often hear the expression – “You make me happy” and “You make me angry.” Or the question, “How does that make you feel?” Consistent with these statements is the perception of no choice.

I have come to understand I have the capacity for choice in each and every moment; that ultimately I’m responsible for the experiences I have in my life. While I cannot always control the events in my life, I am responsible for my response to these events. I am responsible for the meaning I assign to these events. The word responsibility contains this message. It means having the ability to respond. When I’m being responsible it means I am ‘response – able’. Believing I have no choice says I am not ‘response-able’.

Anger, sadness, and other forms of distress are ways of responding to events in life amongst many possibilities. If I wish more peace, happiness and joy, it is ultimately my responsibility to choose these experiences.

Evolution is a growing participation in responsibility.

Anonymous

pp. 63

“All of the significant battles are waged within the self.”



~ Sheldon Kopp


You can see Ted Kuntz website at www.peacebeginswithme.ca

 Ted Kuntz is a psychotherapist in private practice in Vancouver, Canada and the author of the Canadian best-seller, Peace Begins With Me. Ted has a Master’s Degree in Counseling Psychology and more than 25 years of clinical experience.